Essay On Factors Affecting Divorce
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Factors affecting divorce
There are very few people in the world that often get married with the main intention of getting divorced. However, there are sobering statistics that show that overall in the United States the divorce rate stands at a around 50%. The 21st century has seen as lot of strain in marriage due to several factors that have been brought by urbanization. It is of the essence to understand that divorce is a deeply emotive issue that has repercussions to many people other than the divorcees. More than half of Marriages that take place in the United States are more likely to lead into divorce. This number is too high to ignore and the worst thing is that the divorce rate increment is on all time high. There are several factors that affect divorce rates and this paper is going to look as some of this factors.
The first factor that almost automatically brings divorce is infidelity. This is where one partner goes and decides to have sexual relations with another person other than the person that he or she is married to. Research has shown that cases of infidelity are on the rise and these are more likely to lead into more divorces. Divorce rates among couples that have cheated on each other stands at 80%. This therefore, shows that this is one of the major factors that lead to divorce (Woodhouse 75). The infidelity in most cases comes when intimacy in the marriage disappears. It is common knowledge that somewhere in the marriage there is often a subtle change when it comes to the intimacy department. One person may have an off day, another might have a misunderstanding and then there are days that a person might not feel well. There is always the idea of one being not romantic or as sexual as they used to be when they met. It is of the essence to understand that the person that has the subtle change can often trigger a downward spiral when it comes to the intimacy department.
According to research, men often need sexual receptivity in order to feel romantic while on the other hand women often need romance in order for them to be sexually receptive. Therefore, according to this theory, as long as people get what the y need, they can be able to effectively and efficiently provide what the other person wants (Woodhouse 72). However, when there is a lessening either on the male or the female side, this can often trigger what is referred as pulling back for the other partner. When this pulling back goes unnoticed and unchecked the two might find themselves intimately estranged and this is where infidelity is most likely to creep in. In most cases the couples that cheat on their spouses feel unloved and unappreciated and this is the reason as to why most of them go on with the act. Infidelity is therefore, the biggest factor that currently leads to divorce not only in the United States but the world over.
Money is the second factor that often leads to divorce. The importance of enough money in a marriage cannot be overemphasized. Money is an integral component in a relationship and in a marriage. A lack of money in the marriage can often put serious stress on a marriage and can lead to divorce. However, it is important to note that it is not the complete lack of finances that often causes the divorce but rather it is the lack of compatibility when it comes to the financial arena. Unlike poles attract and opposites attract, however, this is not the same case when it comes to money. When two people are opposite in their financial department a divorce is likely to ensue. There are relationships where the man is a spender and the wife is a saver. These two are financial incompatibilities that cannot be easily explained to each other and one can even go as far as to refer to them as doctrines. There are times when these financial conflicts can grow into heights where the only logical conclusion and solution to the problem is often divorce.
Another important factor that often leads to divorce is a change in priorities. A major change when it comes to priorities can often cause an end in a marriage. It is natural to understand the people grow and they change; sometimes they grow together in the same direction and other times they grow apart. There are also other people that never change and they can be able to remain the same person fifty years into a marriage. What can be problematic when it comes to a marriage and can probably lead into a divorce is when there is a major change of priorities for both the two spouses and one of them. There have been relationships where a change in priorities such as religious beliefs and practices has effectively strained a relationship.
There are people that talk of the spouse putting jobs or even the children before the marriage. These changes in beliefs can bring disappointment to a partner and this can effectively lead to divorce (Dassanayake 37). One philosopher once argued that the human genetic code lies an instruction that when a person is not happy, he or she is suppose to force his or her way out of the relationship and make changes that requires him or her to be happy. People that are disappointed in relationships often take to the form of complaining, blaming and even punishing. It is of the essence to understand that when one person or both in a marriage make an attempt to coerce each other in trying to do things that they think they do not want. One should not sacrifice his or her happiness for another person as this is likely to lead into a divorce. Therefore, it can be seen that differences in expectations and a shift in mindset in a marriage can lead to an increased divorce rate.
Physical abuse is another major factor that should not be ignored when one is looking at factors that can lead to divorce. Many people before and during marriage often state that if their spouse ever him them or abused them physically or even sexually then the relationship will be over. Domestic violence has demonstrated its bad hand in the United States and the number of divorces that are a result of domestic abuse have been on an increase. Further, the abusing of a child or children for that matter can be said to be another cause that can lead to divorce automatically (Ackerman 33). While there are many people that opt and agree to stay in a physically abusive relationships and there are some spouses that look another way if their children is abused by their spouse, there are several spouses that cannot look another way when they are abused. This is especially because the person that abuses them or their children promised to love them and this is why this is often a very big issue.
Dishonesty is another important factor that according to many people can often lead to divorce. However, when studying dishonesty as a factor that leads to divorce it is of the essence to understand that different relationships often have their own definitions of dishonesty. There are those that believe that indeed dishonesty often involves those incidents where their spouses deliberately say something that they know is untrue. However, there are also those that argue that anything that is misleading from the truth be it verbal or expressed can be seen as a lie. There are many couples that have argued that if their spouses lied to them in important matters they might not continue with their relationships. This trend has been especially seen with people that have children in previous relationships but did not mention it to their spouses. This often boils over and in most cases it often leads to a divorce. Most Americans during interviews have often stated that they believe that a marriage should be built on absolute trust and when this trust is abused or even broken most of them cannot continue being in the relationship.
The last major factor that can lead to a divorce is addictions. For many people, addiction is something that cannot be totally forgiven. This is especially made worse if the addiction was not revealed in the beginning of the relationship. Some addiction which can be described as deal breakers in most marriages include drug and alcohol problems, pornography and even gambling. The addiction in most relationships often create trust issues and the spouse often feels that he or she cannot be able to trust his or her significant other. This is an important concept as marriage is often pegged on reliability. When one is addicted to a certain drug or habit, the spouse often feels that he or she cannot be able to count on their significant other to be consistent with his or her behavior or even put their relationship before anything else. When an addiction goes on for a long time, it wears down the foundation of a marriage and consequently a divorce ensues.
In conclusion, divorce levels in the United States have been increasing as it is now estimated that almost 50% of all marriages in the United States end in divorce. The first major factor for divorce is infidelity. Most divorces in the United States are as a result of infidelity. The person that that has been cheated on feels betrayed and one cannot be able to get past it (Strong 23). Another factor is dishonesty, persons often feel that trust is an important concept in a relationship and when dishonesty comes in the relationship cannot continue. Having different perspectives and change in objectives in life can be another factor that can lead to divorce. Finally, money problems, domestic abuse and addiction problems are other factors that can lead to divorce.
Strong, Bryan, and Theodore F. Cohen. The Marriage and Family Experience: Intimate Relationships in a Changing Society. Belmont, CA: Wadsworth, 2014. Print.
Ackerman, Marc J, and Andrew W. Kane. Psychological Experts in Divorce Actions. New York, NY: Aspen Publishers, 2005. Print.
Dassanayake, Jude. Factors Affecting Divorce Among Kandyans in Sri Lanka. Colombo: Godage International Publishers, 2009. Print.
Woodhouse, Violet, and Matthew J. Perry. Divorce & Money: How to Make the Best Financial Decisions During Divorce. , 2014. Print.